Nigerian news

I got to read the Nigerian paper today, and I’ll have to do it again soon as it is quite entertaining. It could be informative except that most of the names and titles don’t mean anything to me. (Side note: my Sheraton Lagos hotel was referenced by an article as “one of the leading hotels in the state.”)

Some overall thoughts:
-Writers will write in first person or refer directly to the reader (“you”)
-There are definitely some “Nigenglish” phrases, such as an article titled, “Recipe for Infectious Diseases (Baked Tomatoes)”. The article is about how baked tomatoes are supposed to ward off infectious diseases, but the writer managed to convey the opposite in the title.-Public remembrances bordering on hagiography are big here. There are several full-page ads in the paper taken out for no other reason than to congratulate someone (see photo; this one looks like a company buttering up a gov't minister). The client office has posters on all the bulletin boards with pictures of employees who died and eulogies to them.
-The newspaper deals a lot more with religion than any in the U.S., in part because religion seems to be a part of normal life much more than in the U.S. There was a half-page sermon printed in today’s paper and several interviewees say things like, “the future belongs to God” when begging out of answering a hypothetical
-There are lots of long interviews with officials, but there doesn’t seem to be the same investigative/analytical piece that you can usually find in a good U.S. paper.

For your entertainment
This is straight from the paper’s Lifestyle section:

Relationship advice: Communicate with each other
Wedding tips: Start planning early. At least two months before d-day.
Honeymoon tips: Take her into your arms.
Romantic tips: Kiss and kiss again.

Below is a sample of a few of the 31 personal ads that appear right next to the insights quoted above. Frankly I found a third or so to be strange in some way. Some were looking for big age gaps, but none were guys looking for significantly younger girls. The ages requested are very specific.  A good number were single mothers looking for someone.  A full 5 ads, or 1 in 6, was a guy explicitly looking for an older “sugar mummy” – their choice of words.

-Sonia, 28, fair, beautiful, single mother in Kaduna, needs a man of 52-80 yrs for a mature relationship.

-Annie, 23, a nurse, fair, plump, in Asaba and Warri, needs a sincere, exposed and intelligent man of 30-43yrs capable of keeping a woman.
-Ola, 30, 5.5ft, dark, Moslem, in Lagos, needs a tall, Moslem, employed, genotype AA responsible man of 36-40yrs for a serious relationship. [Google tells me that this is in reference to sickle-cell anemia; is this common in Nigeria?]

-Leke, 31, single, driver, in Lagos, needs a sugar mummy who can take care of him financially. He's ready to satisfy her with love.

I don't recommend taking your eHarmony profile cues from these guys.